I was never one who made a fuss at bath time. No tears, bargaining, or whining when I was told to hit the showers. In fact more often than not the threats usually were along the lines of "Save some hot water for the rest of us!!" As both a hyper child and somewhat hyper adult- showers have always been a calm place for me. I can easily push a water heater to its limits.
When I first started drinking and learning how to really tie one on- I would often hop in the shower when the bed would start spinning. I remember one of the first times I was drunk around my parents. The entire family was sharing a vacation condo in the White Mountains. My parents, my sister along with her husband and young daughter, and my younger brother. It was a total outlet shopping retreat to New Hampshire- home of no sales tax shopping. After two days of mind numbing boredom, the prospect of a third sent this recent 21st birthday boy into every bar I could find. Sneaking away all afternoon and evening, I was fucked up like a lab rat by nightfall- so I came out of my little closet, admitted I was drinking and held court in the hotel lounge, tossing back Vodka Collins. My ex-brother in law was ordered to get me back upstairs. I was sharing the loft bedroom with both my brother and my parents- a perfect situation for uncontollable bedspins. I went downstairs and spent 45 minutes hurling in the shower before my father practically knocked down the door. As I got back into bed, my mother felt it the appropriate time to begin admonishing me. "You know, you are Irish, you should not drink those sugar drinks." "Shut the fuck up." Probably not the best response to your mom, but I was clearly not in any condition to argue. While it didn't ruin the vacation, it certainly made for several awkward moments hehe!
But I digress- I have often wished I could access my computer while in the shower. Or a pen and paper, dictation device, stenographer- whatever I could use to keep track of all of my thoughts and ideas. It just seems as though I have all kinds of brainstorms and breakthroughs that dissipate from memory as I dry off upon exiting. Almost like keeping a dream journal near the bed- I have decided to try to use my blog to capture some of those ideas.
This morning I was thinking about Wonder Woman. Again. I am really not going to dive into the subconscious shit about that. From the comic's relaunch last summer, up to last week's announcement of Gail Simone taking the reins- a number of very different writers have had the opportunity to give Diana voice. In addition to both Allan Heinberg, Will Pfiefer, and Jodi Piccoult in "Wonder Woman", there has been a story arc involving Wonder Woman in "Manhunter" written by Marc Andreyko (This is an incredible series- he has crafted a true gem here- buy it!), Dan Slott and Howard Chaykin both had arcs in "JLA Classified", and even Adam Beechen in "Justice League Unlimited" (this is the more kid friendly version of the group that was featured on the Cartoon Network series). ******Sidenote- Any chance I get I want to give props to Adam Beechen- his writing on "Robin" has breathed new life into both the series and the character, and he is slated to assume writing duties on my second favorite series "Teen Titans" in May!!!!******
Again I digress- my point is- with each different writer, there has been a different spin on the character. Sure they all have the basic core tenets of her down, but they add their own interpretations of her personality as well. For example in "Wonder Woman" #6, Jodi Piccoult portrayed Diana as having little to no knowledge of day to day life- to the extent that she was bewildered at a gas station. However, in "Manhunter" #30, Marc Andreyko has Diana tooling around L.A. in a Hummer! I love these different ways to look at a long beloved character, but there are many fans that get highly offended.
I started thinking about how everyone sees things their own way. How you could have four people witness the same event, and while they may recount a similar tale. Their testimony would certainly vary. I remember a funeral for a friend a few years ago. When his family spoke about him during the service- friends and I couldn't help but giggle. He was a wonderful person, a great friend, but not the saint being eulogized! We couldn't help but whisper various anecdotes about his more "adult adventures" and felt said that his family didn't know the real man. After the service, with several spirit lifting cocktails in them, various family members opened up and told tales of growing up with my friend. And I realized that although they didn't hear about the two hookers in Quebec, or the keg roll for my 20th birthday- they did know him. They might have focussed on other parts of his personality than we did, but they did still know him.
As in all good showers my mind began to drift to more recent, pressing events and processing them. I am coming off a tiny roller coaster of my own creation in what is probably the least satisfying part of my life. A successful relationship or dating life has always been elusive to me. Whenever I meet someone new I dread the inevitable "So why are you single" question. I don't so much hate answering, when you are single at 35 you have the standard "I'm just not lucky", "Haven't me the right guy" or even "I'm no cakewalk" at your disposal for a quick reply. But the question always starts the voices in my head to nagging. Why are you still single? Why haven't you met the right guy? What are you doing about that? What's wrong with you? That kind of shit. Recently, I met a guy who seemed as interested in me as I was in him. Initial flirting led to a few really good conversations, so my hopes began to rise. In fact, they rose so high, they became blind spots. After a few very disappointing aborted dates, he came clean about himself. He had a pretty valid explanation for his behavior, and I applauded his honesty. In hindsight, I should have accepted that as a conclusion, and moved on. Instead, I allowed myself to continue things despite agreeing that the timing was all wrong. After one great date, I pretty much ignored all that I had learned. Apparently I can give good advice but have absolutely no use for it myself. He went right back to telling me what I needed to hear and ultimately disappointing me again. After the initial hurt feelings, I am ready to accept full responsiblity.
I am writing this without many details for two reasons. First of all, I am not here to trash someone. I don't feel as though names and specifics would do much more than level blame. Like in the Destiny's Child song "Survivor":
I'm not gonna compromise my Christianity,
(I'm better than that)
You know I'm not gonna diss you on the Internet
Cause my momma told me better than that.
Secondly, I want to remember to use this as an example to pay attention to all red flags. I don't want to keep repeating the same unsuccessful patterns in my life. I think the definition of insanity includes repeating the same actions and expecting different results. In order to make sure that I don't just chalk it up to this particular dude or experience, I have kept it vague. That way I can see how it might apply to other situations.
So that is an impression of the mental talk show in my head during today's shower. I sign off with the goal of sharing more episodes and archiving my thoughts. I can't think of a catchy title for these entries, but once I do I will add it. However, I have decided to use the picture above as the "logo" for the round table discussions. If you don't recognize, it's a still from "Psycho"- and below are the Saul Bass storyboards for that historic scene! Thought it was cool- enjoy!
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